Movie Review: Zombieland

Before I begin: Mindless flesh-eating creatures with gnashing teeth attempting to eat humans is a scary concept. But even if the concept escapes you, the previews shouldn’t have as they depict ultra-violent images of zombie-demise in a way that ought to give you a clue that this is going to be a gory movie. And even if THAT didn’t indicate what kind of movie this was, the R rating on the sign next to the showtimes when you bought your ticket certainly should have told you that “Zombieland” is not a movie for kids, especially 6 and 7 year olds.

None of those three things stopped the moron in the Bengals hat from bringing his two future mass murderers and/or psychiatric patients and sitting in the 3rd row of the theater. You sir are an idiot in the first degree. 241-KIDS should take away your children and then hit you in the face with a shovel for good measure.

Now, on to the review: This was a fun hour and twenty minutes. Yes, its gross but I would argue that it was much less gory than “Wanted” and even “Tropic Thunder,” so don’t avoid it simply because you don’t like gore. It was cartoonish gore and even the ultra-violent parts seemed like a horror-version of Looney Toons to me.

Woody Harrelson plays a version of himself named Tallahassee, though I’m sure he’ll argue that he’s a pacifist in real life and would not condone this kind of violence. Jesse Eisenburg plays Michael Cera but not as well, though to be fair if we didn’t have Michael Cera then Mr. Eisenburg would be just fine. They team up along with two sisters who they find on their journey as the apparent last survivors on Earth after a Zombie apocalypse. And boy do they survive.

This movie is not a message film; they don’t all need to be. Instead this – like The Hangover last week – is the kind of mindless entertainment we all deserve once in awhile. I know I do.

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